1990

a newspaper article reads

a hundred baby girls were found buried

behind a doctor’s house in a neighboring village

the wife wonders if that’s where he took her

she imagines her daughter becoming the soil

fertilizing the roots that feed this country

• Rupi Kaur, the sun and her flowers

A study conducted in India in 2011 has shown that from 1980 to 2010, between 4 to 12 million fetuses have been aborted when the family finds out they are having a girl.

One of the reasons for the increasing number of fetal female abortions is because, when a girl is set to be married off, the bride’s family must pay a dowry to the groom’s family. For some poor families, this is viewed as having a burden on their shoulders so they would rather kill that female fetus.As a result, the abortions have led to an increasing gender gap within the country of India. Another study in March 2011 has shown that there are 914 girls under the age of 6 for every 1000 boys.

Sexism also had made a dramatic shift from India to the Western hemisphere due to immigration. Even during the 21st century, after all the evolution our social norms have been through, sexism still plays an immense role in today’s societies. From cultural backgrounds, viewpoints, to simply how one was raised, the source of sexism can always vary. Specifically focussing on India and how differing worldviews clash when Indians immigrate to Western countries. Today, I view women working twice as hard as their male peers just to receive the same acknowledgement they should have been granted from the beginning. As a society, it is our duty to change this sexist behaviour, to recognize, and promote both genders to be equally valued and appreciated.

In many different parts of the world, particularly in India, many families put unrealistic standards on how women should behave or unnecessarily restrain daughters from thriving and reaching to their full potential. Specifically, in most traditional Indian families, daughters are not as valued as sons due to the fact that men should be educated as much as they can and be the “breadwinners” of the family, while women stay at home and take care of the children. In the eyes of traditional Indian parents, education, attaining a job, and being able to be an independent ambitious women should be the least of the daughter’s priorities.

The following script is from the Indian soap opera Saas Bina Sasural, from the South Asian network, Sony Television. This soap opera prominently exemplifies the high expectations that wives have to uphold in a household, while the husband pursues his career as he pleases. The following script is from the episode where the father-in-law (Ved Chaturvedi) requests his recently wedded daughter-in-law (Toasty Chaturvedi) to cook.

First day in the Chaturvedi house, Toasty is folding clothes for her husband who is off at work, and resting after the exhausting wedding that took place the day before.

Ved Chaturvedi enters the room.

VED CHATURVEDI

Toasty, it almost time for lunch and I must go to the shop soon. It’s best if you cook lunch for everyone right about now.

TOASTY

All of you? I must cook for all seven of you?

VED CHATURVEDI

Yes. Let me know when the food is ready.

Toasty feeling very overwhelmed with all of the food she must cook all by herself for her new family, she calls her mother for some guidance.

Tune into Sony Television during the weekdays, and you will see an immense amount of soap operas that carry the same element of the

 wife cooking and cleaning.Wives are expected to cook for everyone, clean the house, prepare meals on time and greet their husbands with a genuine smile and warmth as they return from their jobs. This particular traditional is role is often shown in Indian television shows, which many Indian women view on a daily basis, and this strongly exemplifies how firmly this role is implemented in their society. Children of Indian mothers, look up to them and their perception of how females should behave in household is implanted at a very young age.

Although restricting females from flourishing into successful individuals remains a significant dilemma in India; however, sexual assault does not fall behind as India’s growing issue.

Disgustingly, rape is not uncommon in India. In December 2012, a 23 year old woman was riding a bus on the way to her home with her, when all of a sudden a group of six men, including the bus driver,  started to harass, beat, torture, and then eventually rape this woman. When the men were asked to justify their actions they simply stated that she was overstepping her role as a female and how she should have stayed in her place as a woman. These men kept insisting how the woman was behaving in a ‘dishonourable’ way, even though she was just sitting on the bus and was not going to tolerate the harassment anymore. This example solidifies how females are viewed in India’s society and how male privilege is so dominant that the female’s voice is often left unheard.

In the year of 2015, about 34,651 rape cases were reported including females between ages of less than 6 years old to 60 plus years old. Majority of cases were based upon females between the ages of 18 and 30. About 95% of the rape victims knew their alleged rapists.

Many women stand up for themselves which is absolutely crucial moving forward towards equality; however, many cases of sexual assault also go unreported. One of the many reasons why rape cases go unreported, is because the victims are close relations to the rapist. As stated earlier, in most of these cases victims know the person who caused them this traumatic suffering, which leads to them being remaining in fear in coming forward. Another reason is most women’s confidence takes a dip due to the fact that most police officers won’t believe the female- which takes us back to the favouritism of the male gender. Ridiculously, a lot of women get blamed for getting raped. Their family members and police officers, who are meant to protect their people, blame the victim for wearing ‘inappropriate’ clothing, going out too late at night, and for not behaving like a ‘lady’. All these reasons never justify for rape or any type of sexual assault.

I was raised in an Indian family, where my parents come from India, which of course brings in many traditional values and morals from our motherland. I love my ethnicity and embrace it; however, I have too, dealt with my experiences of sexism. When I was younger, I recall how much freedom I had with my clothes and who I associated with. My parents were fine with my playing with other boys, wearing tank tops, going out of the house etc. As soon as my pre-teen years came around and puberty started to possess my body, that’s when I started to see changes in the house.

I remember my mother telling me I should not wear certain dresses, shirts, or any piece of clothing that in her eyes, showed too much of my body. I would be so confused as to why she was saying this. My father would suddenly be infuriated over the fact that I am going out with my friends and since I am girl I should stay at home more often. My mind could never comprehend his sudden annoyance. I also remember my father becoming irritated over the fact that I have not learned how to cook traditional food since I am always too busy, and that is gonna hinder me from becoming a successful wife.

At times my parents would make my brother go with me to places for ‘protection’. My mom tells me that I should not post pictures of myself on social media and when I remind her that my male cousin does so, she simply replies with, “He’s a boy, he can do it.”.

Whenever I go out in public with a male friend, I always find that I receive the most stares from fellow Indians, rather than the boy I am with.

As a female, I should not be insecure or extremely cautious of the clothes I wear just because someone’s son does not have a sense of self-control. Instead of preventing women from embracing their beautiful bodies as they please, we should encourage women to feel pure inside and out. We should encourage women to learn cooking and cleaning, along with math and science. We should encourage women to make memories with their peers, without having the fear of a man groping them. We should encourage women to be their full potential and even go beyond that.

I pity the families that aborted their female fetus, I truly do. I pity them because they have missed out an incredible opportunity to raise a daughter that brings warmth and strength into a household. Daughters are not burdens and never will be. It is the traditions and customs that have led to the mindset of such absurdity. The same goes for rapes of my resilient, courageous Indian sisters. They should never be blamed for the idiocy acts of someone else’s ill-mannered son. All of these victims should receive a healthy support system alongside a non-corrupt justice systems, that allows these women to step forward with their stories. An Indian girl should be able to walk home from school alone, without having to check over her shoulder every two seconds. Lastly, I full-heartedly believe that women should not carry all of the duties of a household but share them with her husband. Even when the wife is the backbone of the house, that should not restrict her in any way to pursue her own ambitions. Hobbies, and desires outside of the home. From an young age, girl should be taught how to do long division accompanied with how to make roti, if they please.

As I stated before, I embrace my roots, culture, and values with my whole heart. I could not be more proud of where my heritage thrived from and the person it has carved me into today. I would just like to see my culture grow outside of these unfair traditions and begin to accept a new mindset. Nonetheless, the Indian culture has made a substantial amount of progress by even allowing Indian girls to go to school. Now it is time to remove the difference in value between girls and boys, and see them as equal.

 

Bibliography:

Up to 12 million girls aborted in India in 30 years. (2011, May 24). Retrieved November 04, 2017, from http://www.nbcnews.com/id/43155122/ns/health-childrens_health/t/million-girls-aborted-india-years/#.Wf5R_RNSy9Y

Everyday Sexism In India And Why We Are So Blind To It. (2017, August 01). Retrieved November 04, 2017, from http://www.womensweb.in/2017/08/quotidian-sexism-in-india/

2012 Delhi gang rape. (2017, October 16). Retrieved November 04, 2017, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Delhi_gang_rape

Rape Culture and Sexism in Globalising India. (2016, April 05). Retrieved November 04, 2017, from http://sur.conectas.org/en/rape-culture-and-sexism-in-globalising-india/

Jazeera, A. (2016, August 31). India: More than 34,000 cases of rape reported in 2015. Retrieved November 04, 2017, from http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2016/08/india-34000-cases-rape-reported-2015-160831140518208.html

(2010, December 11). Saas Bina Sasural: Toasty Successful At First Task! Retrieved November 11, 2017, from https://hamaraphotos.com/bollywood/television/saas-bina-sasural-toasty-successful-at-first-task.html

Saas Bina Sasural. (2017, November 09). Retrieved November 11, 2017, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saas_Bina_Sasural#Cast

Pictures:

Traditional Kitchen Tools and Vessels. (2015, November 23). Retrieved November 11, 2017, from https://healthylife.werindia.com/your-road-to-healthy-life/traditional-kitchen-tools-vessels

Unequal. (n.d.). Retrieved November 11, 2017, from https://www.shutterstock.com/search/unequal?search_source=base_keyword

Adorable Vintage Pink Baby Girl Shower Statuette. (n.d.). Retrieved November 11, 2017, from https://www.zazzle.com/adorable_vintage_pink_baby_girl_shower_statuette-153846166878498345

Pawar, S. (1970, January 01). Gap Sap. Retrieved November 11, 2017, from http://all-gap-sap.blogspot.ca/